Calendar system · How I Write · Motivation · Muses

Well-played January. Onward February.

Well-played January.


And now, onward to February where I will attempt to

  • knit two hats
  • crochet at least one blanket
  • write 15 short pieces
  • finish my short story “Penelope’s Test” for the Muses blog
  • read 6 books
  • workout at least 3 times a week (thank god for audiobooks)
  • go on (and enjoy) a media-blackout vacation
  • not spend money (er, more than necessary)

Work-wise, I’ll be sending three books to press, preparing three more books for production, and figuring out a plan for two more books. Whew.

And in the midst of it all, I’ll continue to fight and stand-up for and donate and contribute to the fight for all our rights.

Stay motivated all, and keep fighting. ❤

Art · blog life · Muses · Uncategorized · Writing

Hope and Moving Forward in 2017


Image result for Hope

It’s 2017. The year is still relatively fresh and untangled. My new planner is unblemished and full of possibilities and goals. There’s a general feeling in the air of newness, but also How did we get here?

For me, personally, 2016 was both amazingly wonderful and also devastating. I met and got engaged to my fiance this past year. I met three delightful critique partners. I rediscovered the joy in art. I wrote my first short story. But this year also saw the end of friendships, a crushing election, moments of paralyzing anxiety, and the deaths of too many people, including two that struck close to home. For the first time in my life, I understood the true dichotomy of ups and downs.

I expect that 2017 will be much of the same. How do we move forward into a year as uncertain as this one?

I’ve considered that question for weeks now and the thing I keep coming back to, over and over again, is hope. As long as we have something to hope for, we have something to live for. 

So, here’s my list of hopes this year:

  1. Be kinder. There are so many ways to be kind. Open doors for people. Smile at people who look like they might need it. If you have the money, carry pre-paid Dunkin Donut giftcards in your pockets and hand them out to the homeless, especially in the cold months up ahead. Read to a child. Volunteer somewhere. This year, and for the next few years, we’ll need kindness more than ever.
  2. Write the world I want. I’ve always written stories. My hard-drive is littered with abandoned manuscripts. This year, though, I hope to write a story that encapsulates the world I’d like to live in. After all, in order to live in a certain kind of world, we have to create it first, right? 
  3. Learn to love the fear and pain of writing.  2016 was the first year I did not write at least one novel since 2003. Part of that is probably because I let the fear of potential success play with my anxiety – if I wrote a book I liked and queried it, what if it got rejected? What if it didn’t, but a publisher hated it? What if they didn’t, but readers hated it? Part of it was also because I was terrified I’d waste months writing another abandoned thing, so perhaps it was better to not write anything at all. This year, I hope to love that fear and uncertainty and pain, because without it, I can’t have any joy.
  4. Create art. I love creating things. Sometimes I’ll sit on the couch with a crochet hook and a ball of yarn, and I’ll fuss around for an hour and wind up with a tangled mess of yarn. This year, though, I’d like to channel that energy into creating finished art products, because there’s something a bit more satisfying about holding a completed scarf in my hands than a wavy circle of yarn that I put together. I hope to have more completed drawings and paintings as well this year.  
  5. Cherish my relationships. I’m getting married this year, so relationships are more on my mind than ever. But it’s not just my relationship with my almost-husband, but my relationships with family and friends and critique partners that I want to cherish. Life is so precious. The only thing that is guaranteed, as we saw in 2016, is that one day, we’ll also die. So cherish the people you have now, because you never know when you won’t have them.

What are your hopes this year?

blog life · How I Write · Muses · Writing · Writing Advice

How to Take Yourself Seriously and Why I Don’t “Just Write”

Since this is a writing blog (mostly) and I should be spending this time working on the Book (which is not book-shaped yet, but will be one-day. I hope…), I am of course going to write a blog post. This is going to be hefty. I’ve included mini-headings to break it up. I would include pictures of puppies, but I figured this blog was pretty long on its own.

30 Books and No Plan

I’ve been writing novels for 15 years. That sounds absurd when I write it like that, but it’s true. For the past 15 years, I have written or worked on a novel every single year. How? You might ask. Or, How many have you published? Or, if we’re really close and there’s wine involved, you might say, in a quiet, conspiratorial voice: Oh, so how many rejections have you gotten?

I can’t believe I am writing this but I am going to be honest and tell you that the answer is…none. I’ve neither published a book nor received a rejection for one, because truth be told, it wasn’t really until a few months ago that I decided I was going to take myself and this dream seriously. Yes, I’ve written books. I’ve written loads of books. And I can promise you, they were all terrible things. At least, they were, before I threw them all in the trash and said to myself “Becky, you are starting over from a clean slate. You will not be weighed down by failure. We are putting failure in the trash bin. You will learn to write a real book and you will like it.”

You may be thinking a few things at this point. Good god, this girl is insane and she talks to herself. She threw away thirty manuscripts? What made her take herself seriously finally? You might even be thinking, Omg, she put them in the trash and not the recycle bin?? (I did put them in the recycle bin. Well, the ones that could go in there. I’m not a monster.)

Here’s What Happened (A Love Story. No, really.)

Now, this story is going to sound a bit like a fairytale and a lot romantic. Because the truth is, the reason I finally started to take myself seriously is because I met a boy. Part of me wishes I could say that I’d finally realized that life is short and that I’d always wanted to be a writer and goddamnit I would be no matter what. I could lie even more and say that when I was laid off from my job in February, I spent an entire month rediscovering the joy and magic of writing and committed myself to getting published within a year. But those things are not true, and besides, the larger part of me doesn’t want to lie to you guys. (I did get laid off, but I spent a month discovering how much I liked expensive colored pencils and learning how to use them.)

Now, this wasn’t any boy. Turns out, this boy would become my boyfriend and then my fiance and, next year, my husband. K is a teacher and a musician and he has a work ethic and passion like no other. Just being around him inspires me constantly to be a better person. It’s true what they say about falling in love – it changes things about you and the way you see the world. Suddenly, I had this guy in my life and I’d gotten a new job with people I really liked, and things were going really well for me, and I was living a great life, and I realized, you know what’s missing? Writing.

I bet you’re thinking: Oh, so she fell in love and was so inspired and sat down at a computer and wrote an amazing book. HA. No. Well, uh, not really. There were other things involved. Things just as, if not more important.

But here’s the thing about K. He’s diligent. He generally knows exactly what he wants and what it looks like (or in his case, sounds like). And he goes out and he gets it. More than that, he takes himself and his craft seriously. He teaches music professionally. He gigs. He’s living his passion. You can’t be in love with someone like that and not want to be like that as well. So I decided to take myself seriously too, now that I knew what taking yourself seriously looked like. I decided that I was going to figure out precisely what I needed to do to write a good book. (Where good = Something I wouldn’t be embarrassed by.)

How I Used to Write

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. You don’t write thirty books just for fun. (Well, you might.) But I never took myself seriously enough. I never thought I could be good enough.

Here’s how I used to write:

  • Find a topic that seemed like it could hold my attention for 300 pages.
  • Brainstorm/plot what I thought should happen in this story (optional).
  • Sit down and type like a maniac. Not sure what line should come next? Doesn’t matter. Just. Keep. Typing.
  • Hit 40,000 words and panic that everything was terrible.
  • Hit delete and start over. Or sometimes charge on and promise myself I’d revise later (I never really did.)

There were a lot of problems with this method. Mostly, the fact that I was charging into a story with no sense of what a story was.

Yes, I said that. I wanted to be a writer and I didn’t know what a story was. Not really. Even though I’ve read hundreds of books. I could tell you what a story looked like and the vague, general things that should be in it (Interesting characters! An original plot! Obstacles! Beginning! Middle! End!), but I couldn’t tell you how to do those things. This meant that by the time I finished a book and re-read it, I had no idea what shape it was supposed to be, and therefore, had no idea how to fix it. And so, I’d push it aside, roll-up my sleeves, tell myself I just had to keep typing and that eventually, something would click, and I’d learn how to craft a story. Isn’t that the advice everyone gives as a writer? Just write?

Maybe for some people that works. But I bet those people also have an innate sense of what a story is. I didn’t.

Here’s How I Changed My Writing

So what did I do?

I threw away all of my old manuscripts because I needed to clear away the failure. Yes, this was terrifying. Yes, I did cry. No, I do not regret it.

I bought every book on craft ever. Okay, maybe not all of them. But I bought lots of them. And I read them and analyzed them and hated most of them. Except one: Lisa Cron’s latest book Story Genius: How to Use Brain Science to Go Beyond Outlining and Write a Riveting Novel (Before You Waste Three Years Writing 327 Pages That Go Nowhere).

I stumbled upon the incredible Joyce Chua’s post in Maggie Stiefvater’s Critique Partner match up (which I’ve written about before here), and she helped motivate me to push myself from “dreaming to be a writer” to “I’m going to be a writer” because she is so amazingly incredible and I knew I absolutely HAD to have her as a friend and critique partner.

When Joyce suggested joining forces with two other writers to form a writing group, I knew I’d found my tribe and the people that would help encourage me to really become a writer. Did I know how to write short stories? Of course not. Would I try? If it meant I could be friends with these three amazing women, absolutely.

I started to share my writing. I found a friend who isn’t a writer, but who is more than happy to bounce ideas around with me.

Most importantly, I decided, once and for all, that I was going to be a writer, and that I was going to be a writer in a way that worked for me.

The Lesson

Now, I’m not saying I turned into a serious writer overnight or that this book that I’m working on is going to get published and I’m going to be a NYT #1 Bestseller (though how cool would that be?) or even that finding love will change your life completely. But I am saying that if you want to be a writer, you need to figure out ways to take yourself seriously and you need to know what serious looks like for you. Sometimes, you’re just not ready, and that’s okay. But sometimes, things in your life will suddenly align and it’s like the universe is saying “NOW.”

Also, learn how you write. “Just write” can be really great advice for some people. But for me, it lead me to just write really terrible books, because I didn’t know what a story should look like. I’m probably not the best person to give advice, but I’m going to anyway. 

Here it is:

  1. Decide that you’re going to be a good writer and discover what that looks like.
  2. Read a dozen writing guides and try them all. Find the one that clicks.
  3. Pull your favorite books off your bookshelf and apply that writing guide to them. This is important because it will help you learn how your favorite books were crafted. Figure out why you love them, so you can figure out how you’ll love your book too.
  4. Find your tribe. (Maggie’s connection worked great for me, but you can also explore writer’s blogs and reach out to the author. Read through the comments on your favorite authors’ blogs. Be a stalker.)
  5. Most importantly, don’t give up.


How do you write?

blog life · Muses · Uncategorized · Writing

My first story is live!

I mentioned in my last post that our group blog “Muse in Pocket, Pen in Hand” was going live on Friday and Friday is now here! My story – the first short story I’ve written in ten years, and the only thing I’ve ever written with the immediate purpose of sharing it with the world – is up for anyone to read.

Here’s what I wrote about it:

The title came first for this story, which is surprising, because I’m usually rubbish at coming up with titles for just about anything. Well, really, the idea of burning love letters came first, and then the questions of who would be burning them, and why, and what if someone was receiving those burnt love letters, through some sort of weird magic? What if this person was like a patron saint, like Valentine, but for the opposite of love – for broken hearts? From there I had a title and a main character, and with a little bit more digging, a story line. Originally, the story was supposed to start with a picnic basket turning into a kitten, and while that’s still referenced in there, I think the resulting story more accurately represents the idea I wanted – a story about self-love and loss, fear and hope.

This group blog is honestly a dream come true. To be able to collaborate with some of the best writers I’ve ever met and with three of the nicest people in the world (we’re from the US, London, and Singapore), is just incredible. For the longest time, I used to hide that I was a writer. It wasn’t that I didn’t think it was cool, it was more that I never thought I’d be good enough, or that someone would read my stuff and tell me I wasn’t good enough. I’m pretty darn good at coming up with worst case scenarios for this sort of thing in my head, so you can imagine why I never talked about it.

But then, one day, I was scrolling through the responses to Maggie Stiefvater’s Critique Partner Love Connection, and Joyce’s post popped out at me. Really, it should have had blinking lights and a french horn and trumpets attached, because that’s how amazing it was. I emailed her immediately of course (how could I not?), and she emailed me back, and then, shortly after, she introduced me to Meredith and Nicole, and from there…what can I say? I’m the luckiest person ever to be in this group. Joyce inspires me daily with all of the novels she has written. Meredith got her doctorate in Scotland. Nicole works is a library and motivates me with her running tales. I don’t know where I’d be without these three amazing ladies. Please check out their bios over at the Muses blog. You won’t be sorry.

The gist of our blog is this: Each month, the four of us will write a short story based on a random prompt. We’ll then post our stories, one on every Friday of the month. I’ve never written to prompt before this and it’s turning out to be the most fun I’ve ever had writing. Nicole has posted a much more brilliant summary of what we do over on her blog, so I definitely recommend checking that out. (Plus, Nicole’s blog posts are just about the most delightful thing I’ve ever read, so you should read them all anyway. Actually everyone’s blogs are incredible. Go read them. Seriously.)

Now, before I go, I probably won’t do this for every story, but since this is the first one, I have to. I have to thank my friend Amy who read probably a dozen various versions of this story, and spent hours talking to me about the characters, and her excitement for it never flagged. Thank you, Amy, for loving this story as much as I do. Thank you to my wonderful fiance, who patiently listened to me obsess and cry over it, and graciously put up with me typing in bed when we should have been sleeping. And, I can’t forget Alice, my upstairs neighbor, who is the sweetest, nicest human in the universe, and had so much enthusiasm for this story even though she hadn’t read it yet. I’d be lost without my fellow muse-seekers, Meredith, who offered the most wonderful critique in the midst of her thesis corrections, and Joyce and Nicole, for believing in this story all along, and in me. Thank you.

And now onto the actual story. I hope you enjoy “Patron Saint of Broken Hearts” as much as I enjoyed writing it. (Or at least, that you don’t hate it… or hate me because you hate it…)