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Process: How I wrote “Penelope’s Test”

I just posted what has to be the hardest story I’ve written in a long time. You can check it out here, on the Muses blog. Because it was so hard, I thought I’d give a breakdown on how I wrote it. Or rather how I re-wrote it!

This was the prompt:

hero-prompt

Like most of my stories, it started with a train of thought draft, just to see what I was interested in. I was hoping for something light and fluffy, but of course, as I’m known to do, the story quickly morphed into something more serious and dark. I’ve been reading a lot of news articles lately – specifically looking at the comments section – and it astounds me that people have such different opinions. One person can be lauded as both a savior and a devil. And so, I started asking myself questions: What is a superhero? How are they separate from a villainWhat makes them good and not bad? Is it just a matter of perspective? 

Then, I delved into a deeper, more specific brainstorm, that asks the following questions. I use these questions no matter what I’m writing – a short story or a novel.

  1. Who. who exactly am I writing about and why?
  2. Wants. What do they want?
  3. Why do they want that specific thing? What in their background drives this desire? How do they think this specific thing will change their life or bring meaning to their life?
  4. What are they afraid of that’s keeping them from getting the thing they want? Usually, for me, I write stories where the thing that the character wants and the thing that the character is most afraid of, is the same thing. It adds a really fascinating internal dilemma for me that I adore exploring.
  5. Misbelief. This is directly from Lisa Cron’s books. It’s basically the idea that your main character believes something so strongly that it’s keeping him/her from getting the thing that they want. For example, a character may believe that love weakens you, and that’s the thing that keeps them from getting what they want – love – because they’re also afraid of it, since they think it’ll make them weak.
  6. Origin of the Misbelief. This is super important for me to understand, even if it doesn’t make it into the story. It lets me know exactly where this character is coming from – what memory do they continually face throughout the story that they’re going to have to overcome, and how can I parallel that in my story (even if the reader isn’t aware that I’m paralleling anything)? A character never appears on page without a history – and I want to know what that history is and how to use it to drive my stories forward. I’ll sketch out this scene in a few sentences so that I have it as a reference.
  7. “Aha” moment. This is also known as “the end” to some people. It’s when the character finally overcomes their fear/misbelief and understands what is keeping them from what they want. It doesn’t always mean they’ll get what they want, but it means they’re now free from the restraints that were keeping them from it. It often directly touches on the Origin of the Misbelief scene.
  8. What. Now that I know who my character is, what she wants, why she wants it, what she’s afraid of, what false belief she has that is keeping her from the thing she wants, when that false belief originated, and how she overcomes it, I’m ready to start figuring out exactly what story to write.

I know this seems like a lot of work for a short story. But for me, it’s worth it. It stretches my writing brain, and the more I answer these questions, the more I hope they become instinctive for me, so that I don’t have to spend so much time on them in the future.

From here, I start drafting. I draft in OneNote, which is technically a Project Manager’s Tool, but I’ve found it super useful for writing. I can organize all of my drafts by folder! And it automatically backs it up to the cloud! And I can access it anywhere, which means I’m often working on my stories while I’m on the elevator or waiting for the train or in line for coffee. Here are the five official drafts I did for “Penelope’s Test” once I’d done my initial two brainstorms.

versions

Between “Attempt 3” and “V01” I sent the story off to a trusted friend for feedback. She’s delightfully ruthless in the most polite, wonderful way, so I know that if she comments on something (in this case, my ending was a total mess) it means I definitely need to do something to fix it. She’s mainly a reader, not a writer (though she does write amazingly well!) so she’s always looking at my stories from a reader’s perspective, which I appreciate and need.

This is also when I start playing with titles. Penelope’s Test had about six of them, before I settled. (If you’re wondering why I chose it, let me know, and I can write a whole other post on that!)

Here’s a snapshot of what my story looked like after I went through and changed stuff based on my friend’s edits. She usually doesn’t make edits directly in the word file – just gives me an overall summary, so all of these changes are mine. 🙂  I should also mention that this is actually my second-run through. The first run through was so drastic, I didn’t use track changes.

edits

From there, I read through it for flow, voice, and typos. I also re-did the first and last pages again, deleting about six paragraphs from each of them. I added a new quote and deleted the one I had before.

I try not to fuss with my stories the week before I post them. I need the space away from them – both for sanity and so I don’t delete the whole thing, thinking it’s awful. But I do need all of the drafts and editing phases. It’s how I learn to write. The entire process usually takes 3-6 weeks, not including my week break before I post.

So there it is. Process for Penelope’s Test! 

I hope you like it! ❤

Calendar system · How I Write · Motivation · Muses

Well-played January. Onward February.

Well-played January.

calendar

And now, onward to February where I will attempt to

  • knit two hats
  • crochet at least one blanket
  • write 15 short pieces
  • finish my short story “Penelope’s Test” for the Muses blog
  • read 6 books
  • workout at least 3 times a week (thank god for audiobooks)
  • go on (and enjoy) a media-blackout vacation
  • not spend money (er, more than necessary)

Work-wise, I’ll be sending three books to press, preparing three more books for production, and figuring out a plan for two more books. Whew.

And in the midst of it all, I’ll continue to fight and stand-up for and donate and contribute to the fight for all our rights.

Stay motivated all, and keep fighting. ❤

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Two New Stories!

I’ve been neglectful of my blog lately. Really, it’s because I’ve been avoiding the internet, as I’ve yet to figure out how to be a part of the current ongoing conversations without getting anxious and overwhelmed. And I think that’s okay. Not to withdraw completely, of course, but to take a moment and recognize what action you can take within your own limits, so that you can be as helpful as possible without hurting yourself. Because you can’t help anyone if you aren’t taking care of yourself. This article has helped a lot.

I’m slowly figuring it out. I’ve started donating monthly here and here. I’ve attended protests. I’ve shared messages and phone numbers. And I’m learning that sometimes I need to step back, away from the internet, and do something kind or something just for myself – work out, read a book, knit a hat, make a pair of earrings.

In any case, being away means I’ve forgotten to post not one but TWO short stories from the Muses.

  1. “Home” by the ever lovely Meredith. “Home” is a gorgeous short story with the quiet feeling of an epic. I love her characters, especially Brighid, who would be best friends with the main character of my short story, Imogen. Check out “Home” here. 
  2. “The Beginning to the End of the World” by the incredible Nicole. “The Beginning to the End of the World” is a unique story that will have you hooked from beginning to end. I love the structure Nicole uses in this story! Check it out here.

I hope you enjoy the stories as much as I do! It’s so much fun being a part of this group. Without Joyce, Nicole, and Meredith, I don’t know if I’d have had the guts to start writing again. Certainly, I wouldn’t be able to write now, with the chaos of the world. But this group has given me the opportunity to remember the freedom in writing and also the importance of it. Stories help us empathize with others. They help grow our hearts and our kindness and show us ways to connect to people around us.

And I couldn’t ask for a passion better than that.

Happy Monday all. I hope the week is kind to you.

 

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New Muses Story!

The amazingly talented Joyce has struck again! Her new short story is gorgeous. Check it out here!

Here’s the first bit:

There were a lot of things Death once believed to be true, one of which was that the dead should stay dead. It was pointless going against the natural order. Only humans, who thought themselves gods and sought to bring the dead back to life, could be foolish enough to disrupt this course.

But if it helped to ease their pain, was it such a terrible thing to help them? “This job hardens your heart,” Love told her once. “But that’s only if you have one.” She failed to see the irony when Death pointed it out to her.

Now run, yes RUN, to the Muses site to check out the rest! 🙂

Happy Friday!

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Let’s do this 2017: The Calendar System

It’s no secret that I tend to be quite particular about my planners. So, of course, for 2017 I had to design my own.

I’ve put “The Girl on Fire” on the cover, as a reminder to be strong this year.

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Front cover of The Planner! (Artwork: “Girl on Fire” by me. Medium: Prismacolor Colored Pencils.)

 

Here’s a look at the inside. Don’t mind all of my notes and goals. If I don’t write something down, it will invariably and inadvertently get forgotten.

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My calendar system!

If you’ve never seen Victoria Schwab’s calendar method before, check it out here.You assign each thing a colored sticker, and then, when you’ve done that thing, you get a sticker. I adore these stickers from Michael’s. They’re tiny enough to fit in my planner and shiny enough that I’ll stay up late working just to earn one.

It’s definitely one of the best motivating systems I’ve ever used. There’s nothing more satisfying than giving yourself a sparkly star at the end of the day for accomplishing something. (And also, nothing more disappointing than not being able to give yourself one because you lazed on the couch watching Fuller House instead…)

Plus, at the end of the month, you can see precisely how consistently you’ve worked to achieve your goals.

And now, as the calendar shows, I’ve got a short story that needs finalizing for the Muses tomorrow, so I should go do that… 🙂

 

How do you stay motivated to meet your goals?

 

(p.s. If you want to create your own planner, I recommend using Lulu. It’s easy and super affordable.)

Art · blog life · Muses · Uncategorized · Writing

Hope and Moving Forward in 2017

 

Image result for Hope

It’s 2017. The year is still relatively fresh and untangled. My new planner is unblemished and full of possibilities and goals. There’s a general feeling in the air of newness, but also How did we get here?

For me, personally, 2016 was both amazingly wonderful and also devastating. I met and got engaged to my fiance this past year. I met three delightful critique partners. I rediscovered the joy in art. I wrote my first short story. But this year also saw the end of friendships, a crushing election, moments of paralyzing anxiety, and the deaths of too many people, including two that struck close to home. For the first time in my life, I understood the true dichotomy of ups and downs.

I expect that 2017 will be much of the same. How do we move forward into a year as uncertain as this one?

I’ve considered that question for weeks now and the thing I keep coming back to, over and over again, is hope. As long as we have something to hope for, we have something to live for. 

So, here’s my list of hopes this year:

  1. Be kinder. There are so many ways to be kind. Open doors for people. Smile at people who look like they might need it. If you have the money, carry pre-paid Dunkin Donut giftcards in your pockets and hand them out to the homeless, especially in the cold months up ahead. Read to a child. Volunteer somewhere. This year, and for the next few years, we’ll need kindness more than ever.
  2. Write the world I want. I’ve always written stories. My hard-drive is littered with abandoned manuscripts. This year, though, I hope to write a story that encapsulates the world I’d like to live in. After all, in order to live in a certain kind of world, we have to create it first, right? 
  3. Learn to love the fear and pain of writing.  2016 was the first year I did not write at least one novel since 2003. Part of that is probably because I let the fear of potential success play with my anxiety – if I wrote a book I liked and queried it, what if it got rejected? What if it didn’t, but a publisher hated it? What if they didn’t, but readers hated it? Part of it was also because I was terrified I’d waste months writing another abandoned thing, so perhaps it was better to not write anything at all. This year, I hope to love that fear and uncertainty and pain, because without it, I can’t have any joy.
  4. Create art. I love creating things. Sometimes I’ll sit on the couch with a crochet hook and a ball of yarn, and I’ll fuss around for an hour and wind up with a tangled mess of yarn. This year, though, I’d like to channel that energy into creating finished art products, because there’s something a bit more satisfying about holding a completed scarf in my hands than a wavy circle of yarn that I put together. I hope to have more completed drawings and paintings as well this year.  
  5. Cherish my relationships. I’m getting married this year, so relationships are more on my mind than ever. But it’s not just my relationship with my almost-husband, but my relationships with family and friends and critique partners that I want to cherish. Life is so precious. The only thing that is guaranteed, as we saw in 2016, is that one day, we’ll also die. So cherish the people you have now, because you never know when you won’t have them.

 
What are your hopes this year?

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New Muses Story!

Guys!

The amazingly talented Meredith posted her story “Lavender” today!! It is so poignant and beautiful and melancholic. It’s the sort of story that just demands a playlist – songs about fires and love, last moments and distant rumbles of thunder.

I can’t say enough good things about it. You have to read it. Now go – run – over to the Muses site, here, and read. You won’t be sorry. I promise.

 

blog life · How I Write · Muses · Writing · Writing Advice

How to Take Yourself Seriously and Why I Don’t “Just Write”

Since this is a writing blog (mostly) and I should be spending this time working on the Book (which is not book-shaped yet, but will be one-day. I hope…), I am of course going to write a blog post. This is going to be hefty. I’ve included mini-headings to break it up. I would include pictures of puppies, but I figured this blog was pretty long on its own.

30 Books and No Plan

I’ve been writing novels for 15 years. That sounds absurd when I write it like that, but it’s true. For the past 15 years, I have written or worked on a novel every single year. How? You might ask. Or, How many have you published? Or, if we’re really close and there’s wine involved, you might say, in a quiet, conspiratorial voice: Oh, so how many rejections have you gotten?

I can’t believe I am writing this but I am going to be honest and tell you that the answer is…none. I’ve neither published a book nor received a rejection for one, because truth be told, it wasn’t really until a few months ago that I decided I was going to take myself and this dream seriously. Yes, I’ve written books. I’ve written loads of books. And I can promise you, they were all terrible things. At least, they were, before I threw them all in the trash and said to myself “Becky, you are starting over from a clean slate. You will not be weighed down by failure. We are putting failure in the trash bin. You will learn to write a real book and you will like it.”

You may be thinking a few things at this point. Good god, this girl is insane and she talks to herself. She threw away thirty manuscripts? What made her take herself seriously finally? You might even be thinking, Omg, she put them in the trash and not the recycle bin?? (I did put them in the recycle bin. Well, the ones that could go in there. I’m not a monster.)

Here’s What Happened (A Love Story. No, really.)

Now, this story is going to sound a bit like a fairytale and a lot romantic. Because the truth is, the reason I finally started to take myself seriously is because I met a boy. Part of me wishes I could say that I’d finally realized that life is short and that I’d always wanted to be a writer and goddamnit I would be no matter what. I could lie even more and say that when I was laid off from my job in February, I spent an entire month rediscovering the joy and magic of writing and committed myself to getting published within a year. But those things are not true, and besides, the larger part of me doesn’t want to lie to you guys. (I did get laid off, but I spent a month discovering how much I liked expensive colored pencils and learning how to use them.)

Now, this wasn’t any boy. Turns out, this boy would become my boyfriend and then my fiance and, next year, my husband. K is a teacher and a musician and he has a work ethic and passion like no other. Just being around him inspires me constantly to be a better person. It’s true what they say about falling in love – it changes things about you and the way you see the world. Suddenly, I had this guy in my life and I’d gotten a new job with people I really liked, and things were going really well for me, and I was living a great life, and I realized, you know what’s missing? Writing.

I bet you’re thinking: Oh, so she fell in love and was so inspired and sat down at a computer and wrote an amazing book. HA. No. Well, uh, not really. There were other things involved. Things just as, if not more important.

But here’s the thing about K. He’s diligent. He generally knows exactly what he wants and what it looks like (or in his case, sounds like). And he goes out and he gets it. More than that, he takes himself and his craft seriously. He teaches music professionally. He gigs. He’s living his passion. You can’t be in love with someone like that and not want to be like that as well. So I decided to take myself seriously too, now that I knew what taking yourself seriously looked like. I decided that I was going to figure out precisely what I needed to do to write a good book. (Where good = Something I wouldn’t be embarrassed by.)

How I Used to Write

I’ve always wanted to be a writer. You don’t write thirty books just for fun. (Well, you might.) But I never took myself seriously enough. I never thought I could be good enough.

Here’s how I used to write:

  • Find a topic that seemed like it could hold my attention for 300 pages.
  • Brainstorm/plot what I thought should happen in this story (optional).
  • Sit down and type like a maniac. Not sure what line should come next? Doesn’t matter. Just. Keep. Typing.
  • Hit 40,000 words and panic that everything was terrible.
  • Hit delete and start over. Or sometimes charge on and promise myself I’d revise later (I never really did.)

There were a lot of problems with this method. Mostly, the fact that I was charging into a story with no sense of what a story was.

Yes, I said that. I wanted to be a writer and I didn’t know what a story was. Not really. Even though I’ve read hundreds of books. I could tell you what a story looked like and the vague, general things that should be in it (Interesting characters! An original plot! Obstacles! Beginning! Middle! End!), but I couldn’t tell you how to do those things. This meant that by the time I finished a book and re-read it, I had no idea what shape it was supposed to be, and therefore, had no idea how to fix it. And so, I’d push it aside, roll-up my sleeves, tell myself I just had to keep typing and that eventually, something would click, and I’d learn how to craft a story. Isn’t that the advice everyone gives as a writer? Just write?

Maybe for some people that works. But I bet those people also have an innate sense of what a story is. I didn’t.

Here’s How I Changed My Writing

So what did I do?

I threw away all of my old manuscripts because I needed to clear away the failure. Yes, this was terrifying. Yes, I did cry. No, I do not regret it.

I bought every book on craft ever. Okay, maybe not all of them. But I bought lots of them. And I read them and analyzed them and hated most of them. Except one: Lisa Cron’s latest book Story Genius: How to Use Brain Science to Go Beyond Outlining and Write a Riveting Novel (Before You Waste Three Years Writing 327 Pages That Go Nowhere).

I stumbled upon the incredible Joyce Chua’s post in Maggie Stiefvater’s Critique Partner match up (which I’ve written about before here), and she helped motivate me to push myself from “dreaming to be a writer” to “I’m going to be a writer” because she is so amazingly incredible and I knew I absolutely HAD to have her as a friend and critique partner.

When Joyce suggested joining forces with two other writers to form a writing group, I knew I’d found my tribe and the people that would help encourage me to really become a writer. Did I know how to write short stories? Of course not. Would I try? If it meant I could be friends with these three amazing women, absolutely.

I started to share my writing. I found a friend who isn’t a writer, but who is more than happy to bounce ideas around with me.

Most importantly, I decided, once and for all, that I was going to be a writer, and that I was going to be a writer in a way that worked for me.

The Lesson

Now, I’m not saying I turned into a serious writer overnight or that this book that I’m working on is going to get published and I’m going to be a NYT #1 Bestseller (though how cool would that be?) or even that finding love will change your life completely. But I am saying that if you want to be a writer, you need to figure out ways to take yourself seriously and you need to know what serious looks like for you. Sometimes, you’re just not ready, and that’s okay. But sometimes, things in your life will suddenly align and it’s like the universe is saying “NOW.”

Also, learn how you write. “Just write” can be really great advice for some people. But for me, it lead me to just write really terrible books, because I didn’t know what a story should look like. I’m probably not the best person to give advice, but I’m going to anyway. 

Here it is:

  1. Decide that you’re going to be a good writer and discover what that looks like.
  2. Read a dozen writing guides and try them all. Find the one that clicks.
  3. Pull your favorite books off your bookshelf and apply that writing guide to them. This is important because it will help you learn how your favorite books were crafted. Figure out why you love them, so you can figure out how you’ll love your book too.
  4. Find your tribe. (Maggie’s connection worked great for me, but you can also explore writer’s blogs and reach out to the author. Read through the comments on your favorite authors’ blogs. Be a stalker.)
  5. Most importantly, don’t give up.

 

How do you write?

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The Story Thieves

I absolutely love this story by the lovely and amazing Joyce. I am so so lucky to be able to call her my friend. This story is hauntingly beautiful and terrifyingly relevant. It’s also utterly atmospheric – the sentences, the descriptions, the characters. I loved this story and I hope you do too!

Muse in Pocket, Pen in Hand

Writing prompt

Every local on the island knew about the banned books. What they didn’t know was that they were stupidly easy to find. But that was only if you knew where to look, and if you knew what you were looking for.

Nobody knew what they were looking for anymore, though. Their vision had been whitewashed; their ears were now only peeled for the distant wail of sirens, their skins accustomed to the sting of rancour that pervaded the air.

The people’s anger was at times a living beast that walked among them, and at times an ash-filled cloud that smothered them wherever they went. They saw the same shades of black and white everywhere they went, and sometimes Annaliese wondered if they remembered a time when they could see colour, or a time when they remembered something called a story. Tales of the impossible, the imaginary and the imagined, that…

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